That night I came home thinking and crying about the apparent hole in my heart. I could not believe what was happening to me. I was fine until yesterday and the next day I had a heart condition. I still had the chest pains, shortness of breath, I couldn't breathe properly or even take normal breaths. I still had all the plugs on my body that they put in during the tests and I fell asleep after a strange and confusing day. From that night onwards, I started having nightmares. The first one really shook me to my entire core like a butterfly effect. I don't remember the exact parts of the dream, but I do remember the ending, VIVIDLY.
It went like this, I was coming to my room from GOD remembers where, [IRL, my bed is positioned exactly beside the entrance of my room ] and I see myself lying in the bed, gasping for breath. I try to wake me him [ me ] up [ more like resurrect myself ]. Whilst I was trying to wake him up, I feel a strange presence behind me. I look back and I see a grim reaper with a scythe standing behind, waiting to take me away. He starts grabbing me and take me [ the one that's trying to wake the sleeping me ]. with him. I hold onto the bed with one hand trying to resist the reaper. Somehow, I cut loose, out of the blue I suddenly wake up from my sleep, and see myself in the exact same position that the reaper left me. I was like " WTF DID I JUST EXPERIENCE 😭!! " . It felt so very real, got a feeling like I was doing an astral projection. I didn't really believe in astral projections until that point. That nightmare fucked me up so bad, I couldn't sleep for days. I was scared to sleep, to fall asleep, I thought I'd die because of shortness of breath or sudden heart attack [ because of the chest pains I was having ] if I'm not conscious or aware, [ Inner voice: UNAGI 😶👈🏼 ] and the reaper would take me if I fell asleep. With all those sleepless nights, my pain and struggle intensified, we'll get to that later. After waking up, I see all the plugs still attached to my body, I still couldn't believe that all of this was happening to me. Reality felt like a dream. My whole life started shattering right in front of my eyes and I couldn't do a single thing about it. I wished it was a dream. But it was real, and it was happening, so I had to prepare of what comes tomorrow after the thorough test. Saying that, coming to the test on the next day...
First thing that day, I went to the doctor unprepared to hear what he was going to say. He brought a better ultrasonic machine to test me this time. The test requires you to take deep breaths and hold them in , or sometimes breathe out and hold before breathing in again. The pain that I was in that day, it felt like I was tied to a bed and someone placed a giant mountain on my chest. I was struggling to go through with it, somehow I managed to bear the pain and complete the examination. The doc said two things, the first one he says, "Good thing! You don't have a hole in your heart 😁". I was like "Oh my LORD [ my stupid sarcastic brain goes Oh my lord of the rings 😆, I tell myself NOT NOW! 😑 ], Thank you 😌". Immediately he goes "You might have a congenital heart disease like a narrow valve or something like HCM, Is there anyone in your family that has/had/died because of a heart condition?". [ My inner voice immediately goes "Okay, so you mean to say that I was born wrong?" ]
I didn't know how to respond to that, I said "[Kind of, my grandpa died because of a heart attack and my cousin died after 2 months he was born because he had a hole in his heart, I have no idea about my father's side as my parents were divorced when I was 1. However, I had a few palpitation issues in the past and I had 2D echo tests for that [ a test way back in 2010 and in 2018 ]" . The doc asked me to bring those previous reports. Nobody knew what I was going through at this point, except my roommates [ and apparently "Friends" 😏 ]. One helluva roommates they were but that's another story. Even my family didn't know about the series of chest pain episodes that I was having. It was about time to tell them everything? Maybe. 🙂